My PA Has Bigger Plans

The Truth

Life don't always work out the way we want it to work out. Since a very young age I had this fairly good idea how I want my life to be. I wanted it to be like a fairytale where you find your prince charming and live happily ever after. I wanted success to cover my tracks. I wanted to be grown up and happy and in control. But you see, I have a PA up in heaven that decided this won't be your fairytale. It will be his plan and path I'll be walking on. 

After studying 5 years and not 4 and walking out of university with a degree I didn't want as a 5 year old girl my path already changed. I wanted to become a doctor who safe lives and instead I became a lifescience teacher ( maybe theressome saving to do there as well). I met my thought to be prince charming after school and after 4 years realised that what we had in mind for our paths doesn't quite fit together. We had other dreams and wasn't able to succeed in them together. I had the idea to go overseas after my studies and now that also seem not to be working out. But there is still an point to all this some way or another. 

It's hard to take knock after knock, having to stand up all the time and strengthen and commit yourself again while everyone else expect you to keep it together. Everyone else's life seems to be the fairytale you wished your own life to be. It's hard to find your purpose in life when things constantly feels like they're not working out, when you give it your best and get nothing in return. Not that I expect to get something in return but it will help discovering your purpose even if it's positive criticism. But just going on as if nothing is happening or when you don't know what's happening it knocks you down. 

Trying to stay positive if life toss you to the wolves is not the easiest task to take on. It makes you feel hopeless, powerless, worth nothing and lonely. It ripes your soul out and it doesn't give it back without a fight or help from a psychic. And sometimes it's better to just accept defeat but that is also the easiest way out. 

Sometimes it gives you a glimpse of hope and happiness. It sends angels on your path to lighten up your days. He gives you friends with happy stories to give you some hope for the future and give you something to be excited about. He brings life into the world to make those around you happy and share their happiness with you. Something to help you keep hoping for the same things. 

My PA has a plan for my life and although I'm not sure what it is at all I think I should give my plans over to him to lay it out for me. I'll never know my full life story but I'm planning on making the most out of it and stand up when I get knocked down. The getting up might take longer from time to time. But nonetheless everything happens for a reason and there's nothing you could do about it. 

Back to [] one

Now what ?

I am on holiday in the silence of nature with wind howling over the clear waters filled with life. Where fish eagles sing and fly free in the fresh air. Where the sun wakes up the flowers and the moon put them back to sleep. And the mountains carry on them the beauty of wonders with an abundance of life. This is how I describe the place I am, staying in a little shack. 

Of course I should add we enjoy this nature by walks at dawn and we test the waters with an early bird ski and acting like flying fish over the wakes of the boat with a lekker wake-boarding session. Yeah okey, it's not all just boring nature stuff but I can say this is an absolutely beautiful place. It feeds the sole with freshness and it detoxes the body from the rotten thoughts that built up during the year.

But to get to the point of this post....

So last week we decided to get wifi installed in our little shack to break the everlasting silence of our communication devices and be reconnected with the world out there. This got installed yesterday morning and as I and a few of my family members normally do as soon as we come home after a 3 week holiday, we checked our emails, got up to date on facebook bla bla bla. Late afternoon I receive this email notification reading: Administration. So to my knowledge this definitely had something to do with my Korea applications and so I decided with a lot of confidence and self-assurance that it's probably just a random update on where things stand. Normally they send out stuff to keep all the applicants excited (always works) about the journey we are about to have. Or some administrative stuff... Needless to say normally quite average mails. To my surprise this email was somewhat different to the rest... some of it was cool and exciting and some of it, well, not so much. The content was just not what I expected. 

The email read that the number of candidates accepted and placed have be reduced by 50%. Those who have not been placed will be placed on a standby list immediately. This gave me a cold unpleasant thrill down my spine and left me in shock. It took about 6 months to get to the point of being placed and now there is no space to be placed. 

So for now I have no idea where I will end up and what I'll be doing. This is quite a bawler that was super unexpected. 

So now I will have to either apply directly to go and work in Korea or apply to go work somewhere else such as Thailand/ China/ Indonesia or Vietnam. These places all sound super intriguing, just need to see what is available now and this time I think it will be safe not to count my chickens before they hatch. 

Never thought this would happen but one little set back won't stop me...

This little butterfly is open to fly to any place in the world. (Saying that just made me really excited)

"I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way" - Carl Sagan (1934-1996)