A Life worth Living

"Learn how to love yourself"

I decided to write this post after I just wrote a sticky note for the new teacher who is starting next week. I won't meet her but I wish I did. I don't want to speak about school or the things at work which is ultimately what is expected of me to do rather I want to speak about the things I've learned.

Travelling far and beyond

"Travelling changes people into storytellers"

So I have been quite quiet lately. Sorry about that. I just haven't been up to much to be honest. I'm trying to save as much money as possible. I'm on my way around the world homebound in 2 weeks. By this time in two week I'll be on the first plane. So now you are probably wondering what I'm about to do as I'm going to be officially unemployed again.

From a Distance I say Goodbye

"Saying goodbye is never easy"

Today is not one of the brightest days in my life. I'm filled with excitement for the new adventures ahead of me but I'm also extremely sad. I chose to live a life of my own which is all fair and right but as with every decision we make in life there are consequences. 

My new year resolutions

"A New year means another chance to make things right" 

Every year we make new year resolutions and I think I speak for many of us when I say we hardly ever stick to them. Life just get in the way. This year I decided I'm going to make a list. A list reasonable enough to achieve doesn't matter what life throws in my path.

Nine months

Only time will tell...

Today, 24 December 2015, marks 9 months in South Korea. It also happens to be Christmas tomorrow and as for that reason I thought I'd share some butterfly thoughts.

Traveling Tips for Solo Woman Travellers.

Follow you feet... And Go!!!

The only thing that you definitely need is a passport. The rest you can figure out as you go...

1. Don't have concrete plans.
2. Budgets are important, but don't be too hard on yourself. 
3. Have fun. 
4. Travel light. If you can't carry your own luggage it's to heavy.
5. Be open minded.
6. Look after your passport. It's worth more than gold.
7. Good trainers/ walking shoes will be your best friends. Keep in mind it should support your feet.
8. Shower Flip flops is a must.
9. Don't take too much girly things aka make up.
10. Leave your hairdryer/ straightener at home.
11. Travel by foot as far as possible. 
12. The best way to explore a culture is with your eyes.
13. Eat street food as much as possible.
14. You need a good looking hat. And don't forget to pack it.
15. A scarf is a must. You never know when you'll need to respect a culture/ religion.
16. Bikini should be the first thing you pack. 
17. Be willing not to shower for a day or 2 if you want to save some money.
18. Pack your bag and then repack it but eliminate half of what you packed the first time.
19. One accessory is necessary.
20. Take a small towel.
21. Alcohol in moderation.
22. Don't drink water unless you know it's safe.
23. Don't try do everything in one day.
24. Have hand sanitizer in in a reachable place.
25. Take tissues with you everywhere you go.

The Downside to moving Overseas.

The truth...

I think most people who moved overseas will agree with what I have to say in this post. It's not really a big secret that I probably made one of the most selfish decision of my life. And I'm not a selfish person in nature at all so making this decision was hard.

I have only been to one country and thus I haven't fully experienced the whole traveling thing. Yes, traveling to another country for 2 weeks also counts but it merely gives you a glimpse of that country and you never really settle down and evaluate life since it's so damn busy. 

People told me how awesome it was to travel overseas and how it will benefit you, how it broaden their horizons and makes you a more open-minded person. People told me all the great, fantastic things that they experienced but there's the flaw in their comments and their stories. They don't tell you what they went through emotionally to get there. They don't tell you the negatives, only the positives. 

I saw this post on Facebook and I thought I would post it on my blog as well since it's extremely relevant to how I currently experience things. 

1. Your loved ones will be devastated. 

No matter how you try to sugarcoat it, moving abroad is essentially a selfish decision. It's great because you are following your dreams and you are choosing a life you would want to live but in reality you are not making anyone other than yourself happy.  Someone will get hurt. I think if I decide to stay overseas for longer than a year there will be family members who would get really upset. 

I think my amazing friends hide their feelings from me in order to show support. They don't want to share their doubts, fears and "What the hell are you doing" thoughts. 

I think the bottom line here is that although you are the one moving and making the big change leaving everything you know behind, you are causing everyone else's life the change. 

2. You feel guilty all the time

Every time someone from home wants to talk or want to skype with you and you are busy or out and about exploring and making the most of your time you feel guilty. 

A good friend of mine broke the news to me that she was 5 months pregnant just before I left for Korea. I climbed on the plane knowing that I won't be able to be there for her when the baby comes, nor will I be able to help her arrange the baby room or make a list of the things she needs, for the babyshower.

My grandfather had a health scare very soon after I left for Korea and I couldn't be there just to ask how his feeling or make him a cup of tea. 

This might sound stupid but I couldn't give my cute doggie a tummy rub or a cuddle after he go run over by a car. 

You aren't there for he lows nor are you there for the highs. I missed my grandmother's and father's birthday and I know already now that I will miss my only brother's 21st. And in the future... how do you choose between a family members birthday party or a friends wedding or the cressening of a baby? You can't fly back and forth the whole time. And choosing one will prevent you from going to the other.

I think it became clear to me that time and finances will ultimately be the determining factor of my social life and the choices that I make. 

Life goes on back at home and you aren't apart of it and you can't support anyone. It makes you feel like a horrible person especially when your family and friends start telling you how much they wish you shared some memory with them. 

3. You'll feel really, really lonely 

Everything is so new that you feel overwhelmed at first. It suppresses the feeling of feeling lonely even though you are pretty much alone. But after a little while it does crawl in. 

You meet so many people and you create new friendships and life is just awesome but then you still get that feeling. The feeling of being alone becomes very prominent even though you are sitting at a dining table with 10 great friends or if you are surrounded by smiling little faces all day. It's inevitable. It happens. 

The reason? Well it's pretty simple. No one shares your previous memories or stories with you. The friendships you have are very fun and exciting but they aren't really relationships or deep concurred friendships. You hardly know their past and you don't know how you should or shouldn't act around them. You throw balls at them and you see what sticks.  

Sometimes it feels like that first few days of University but the difference is your loved ones aren't as close as they used to be... They are in a whole different country. 

4. You won't fit in anymore.

Moving here, and yes its only been 3 months, changed me already. I discovered things I love and hate and also came to terms that it's okay not to like something and voice it. I learned really quickly how to take control of my own life and make decisions for myself without the input of somebody else or considering somebody else for that matter. Some things/ mindsets/believes I had to change because it just wasn't relevant anymore (Pointless). 

All of this is good but in reality or in the bigger picture it's also alienating me from those I used to know and from what I used to call home. Because a big part of me growing into an independent adult is happening somewhere else entirely it's hard to identify with what used to be making it rather in some cases impossible. The problem with this is that when I'm gonna go home after being away so long people will expect the old me to pitch up at their doorstep where as this will not be the case.

When you are in a different country you make yourself at home. You build everything from the ground up. You start with a suitcase and build yourself up to a house filled with the things you like. You build memories in that house and attach meaning to certain things. But you still lack the roots and history since you haven't been there your whole life and despite your best efforts you will never fit in completely. 

Some people ask themselves where they want to get old and retire. As a traveler your biggest problem is that you have alienated yourself from your home country and you never really completely fit in at your current destination so you end up moving from one place to the next in the hopes that you would find a place to call home, but this never really happens. Answering questions like "Where do I belong?", "Where is home?"  becomes a struggle causing most people to hop around the globe. 

5. You lose dear friends

You grow apart. What might have been the best friendships and the strongest bonds disappears. And it's no one's fault.  

My simple reason for this: you live it separate realities. 

Choosing different paths ends friendships, just like it ends relationships. It's inevitable, it's life but that doesn't make it easy. By losing friends you lose a part of yourself and your history. 

When I left the airport and said goodbye to my friends everyone promised me that they would keep in contact with me. They wanted to skype every week and follow my journey. And most of it was empty promises. 

In general your family and friends cannot fully relate to your stories despite your best efforts. Most of the time when you do speak to people back home they want to know about all your experiences since it's fascinating and different and why won't they? But by always speaking about yourself and about your life gets rather boring to be honest. 

Nevermind the fact that I, like many others, get irritated in doing so for the simple fact that it's all about us and we hardly get to talk about the things that's happening back at home. We are pushed to alienation since everything at home stays the same according to those back at home when, quite frankly it doesn't.

We make time and appointments with those back home to talk but a lot of the time those skype sessions are either cut short because life goes on or it's canceled because of routine. 

It's rather sad to me that I talk to my close friends maybe once a week or even maybe once in 2 weeks where I used to talk to them every single day. Most of the time I find out about things that happens back at home via Facebook which is not ideal. Imagine a world without Facebook or Skype for that matter where a post card takes a month to deliver. 

Inner being

1 month and 17 days

I still get my days. Somedays are worse than others, some sadder than others, some more frustrating than others and some just way to neutral for me to even comprehend. Some days are good. I left your photo's behind. I left your gifts behind. I left the place that carries all the memories of our past behind. I left you behind. 

Yet I wake up in the middle of the night. Yet I see you at the places I visit. I see you in other people's smiles. I hear your voice in the music on the radio. I feel your presence in my house. I have to constantly stop in my way and remind myself that I left you behind. 

I search for you in the crowds of people. I search for you in my dreams. I search for you at night and day. I get ideas to surprise you. I have thoughts of what things would've been like. I think of my original life plan and realise that it completely changed. I want to spoil you with coffee in bed. Sometimes I catch myself taking out two cups and not just one. I do exercise to stop thinking but even that doesn't work. I drink and dance to stop thinking, end up on stages and then it reminds me of how we met. I still smile when you sms me. I still wonder about you everyday. I still think " He would like that". I still want to be there yet i'm to far away. 

The memories will always be there. People change. What should change is the way I see you. But that in it self is something that will take time if ever to change. It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.

I cherish the moments we had together, I cherish the laughter in my dreams. I cherish the smiles on my face and the happiness I once carried with me. I cherish the looks you gave me and the stories we shared, the problems we overcame and the team we became I once promised to look after your heart and never break it and I'll keep my promise. 

I'm away and I don't know the end game but I'm going to enjoy life as it passes me by until hopefully one day we meet again. 

Frustrations

Sleepless nights; Haunting pasts 

One simply don't just forget. One simply don't just move on. One simply don't just let go.

One simply don't just fall out of love.

Not easily at least.

 

It has come to my attention again and again over the past 2 and a half weeks (yes I have been gone for that long now) that you might forget or at least force yourself to forget but the body never does. My mind hasn't forgotten any of it either. Countless times I have heard stories that the body get sick or tensed up when something reminds you of something that happened long ago. Although this is the function of the unconscious brain and although the unconscious never forgets it is the job of the conscious brain to tell you what you remember. But what anyone should know is that you only remember the things you want to remember. It's that simple. The brain suppresses the memories it doesn't want to remember. Another function of the unconscious brain is dreams. Sometimes your conscious brain also play a role in dreams but mostly it is started by a tiny spark of memory or sparked by a earlier thought. At the moment my brain is busy rewriting everything in my consciousness. Enough about the science behind my sleepless nights...

The body remembers. When I was still back in Cape Town, back in a relationship and still had my family and friends around me I didn't really experience sleepless nights. I guess feeling protected all the time even at night when you sleep makes a huge difference. For 2 months before I left SA I frequently visited my boyfriend and when I had a nightmare or couldn't sleep at all he was there. I used to turn around and hold him till I fall asleep again. And it was nice to cuddle anyways. You see my body remembers that. You call it spacial awareness.

Whilst being in Korea and not sleeping in a big dubble or queen size bed anymore and in a small single bed it became even harder. Because my body is used to having another body next to me I could grab and cuddle with it searches for that during the night. My unconscious brain is awake and well aware. I know this because of brain harmonics tests I did. It's like it sends a message to my conscious brain to wake up and explain the sudden abnormality. It doesn't understand. 

I guess being in a relationship for not only one year but 4 allows for confusion and misinterpretation to take place the day it's not there anymore . It spills over into a vast majority of daily activities that just doesn't sit right with you or you just feel weird doing them without, in my case, someone else being there and in your way. It's hard to just move on and it's hard to just forget about everything you've been through. It's hard to forget about the one pillar in your life that is suddenly not there anymore. It's hard to only rely on yourself for the fun in your life. It's hard to accept.

But just as hard as it is for the brain to discover to raw truth so is it hard for the body as well. Spatial awareness is a thing. Something the Korean people don't really know. I guess their "ego" is not as big as ours. It's hard to just forget about the body that used to be there in the night when you had a nightmare or woke up for no reason. I wake up now in the middle of the night tossing and turning because I'm not used to not having something to hold. I try hold my pillow but that doesn't really work since I have nothing to lay my head on then. And then I try and force myself not to open up my eyes and look on my cellphone. Seeing that it's 7 hours behind my schedule in South Africa I wake up when you go to sleep. So when I sleep you are awake which gives me all the more reason to grab my phone.

I have came to the conclusion today that I will have to use my settlements allowance on a big teddy bear that might just help me sleep through the night. I will marry my teddy and will devote every night to him. Because he will always wait for me till I get home and he will be there to say goodbye when I go.

I have also came to the conclusion that social media is something that can destroy relationships more than it will build it up. It's creates a secrecy between people where there is not suppose to be a secrecy. It lure assumptions, misunderstandings, jealousy and hatred into your life which wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for social media. Besides for what you might see on facebook for instance media such as chat apps also allows people to say things that they won't say in person. It gives people the courage to ask questions they normally won't ask but because the humiliation is not there it's easy - I find it cowardly. I think that anything you cannot discuss with somebody in their face should not be said over a cellphone or social media. It should be said the old fashion way.

I believe in love and I believe in the old fashioned way of loving one another. Technology might be going forward and my soon to be hubby teddy bear might be made from more advance material or the eyes might be made out of glass but that doesn't take away the fact that it's still a teddy bear that's always there. Yes independence is really important but is it the only thing in life that matters? No it's not. It's an ideal for individuals working together to create something together.

I'm buying my teddy bear soon because I cannot stand sleepless nights and I cannot stand searching for something that doesn't exist anymore.....

Saying Goodbye

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard"- Winnie the Pooh

I'm writing this as I'm sitting on the plane on my way to Korea. I still have 1 hour left before landing in Dubai for a layover. Can't wait to go to duty free although I probably won't buy anything now. This probably has been one of the longest flights in my life. Retail therapy is a must right now.

This goodbye today was probably one of the most difficult things I have done in my life. Leaving everything and all my loved one's behind and climbing on the plane is super crazy and brave and I think I might have underestimated the difficulty and bravery necessary to be able to do this. 

I've been in tears ever since I said goodbye to my dad and my mom. It's crazy how you can be strong the one moment and the next moment you cry so badly that you can't even speak. Words are lost and emotions are overflowing. It felt to me like I'm saying goodbye forever. But I know skype will help with that one once I land in Korea. 

What Skype might not help for is the lonely feeling and emptiness I currently experiencing. After dating my boyfriend for 4 years we decided that it will be good for both of us to take a recreational break to re-invent ourselves and follow our individual dreams and goals. But even though this might be extremely grown up and wise of us it really doesn't make it any easier. My heart feels restless and broken. This is going to take a while to heal to the point where I can function without seeing him in everything. 

I've been listening to music (Lady Antebellum and Taylor Swift) and it feels like every song speaks to me in a way. Every song makes me cry. It makes me think of one moment in our relationship and tears come rolling out again. (It ain't pretty) Every movie touches me more emotionally than ever before. It's like I can place myself in the head of the artist who wrote the song or the actress saying the words. 

One thing I know is that the hardest part is still coming. Sweet dreams turning into nightmares. Not to mention the resistance that must be forcefully exercised to avoid calling or texting or asking just for a opinion or even just sharing the days happenings. And the worst thing is that even though you have your girlfriends to speak to it doesn't give you the same satisfaction as you would've gotten from the one you love deeply. But I miss my girlfriends too and can't wait to show off a little when I land in Korea.

Anyway hopefully flight two to Korea will go better and less emotional. I think getting a sleeping pill might just do the trick in giving me a little emotional gap and some sleep as well. Other than being a little teary. I'm quite excited to get to the other side and have some fun. 

                                                     

My Little Crazy family.

My First Thoughts

Weird! Scared! Confused! HOMESICK!!!

I arrived on Wednesday night and after collecting my bags and being on my way out to meet with my lift I firstly had to change my Rand into Won. Their notes works in my thousands so 1000 = R10 and R10000 = R100 etc. It was quite interesting and it look me a little while to figure out how much it is in rand exactly. I got orders to meet my lift at the MacDonalds (very unique lol) but when I got there, there was no lift insight. I stood there for quite some time before somebody pitched up with my name on a little board. But it got sorted out. It took 2 hours to get to the town I'm living in. 

To describe the town it is a really small town and it's between a lot of farms. It looks like Johannesburg in the winter months at the moment so it's really ugly and cold. The place I stay in is quite nice. It's a studio apartment that's quite big and really close to a bus stop and grocery stores as well as some clothing stores and some restaurants. I arrived in the dark at this strange place and my first reaction was "Is this really where I'm staying?" It wasn't what I imagined. Nothing actually was what I imagined. It was scary. Everything was in Korean and I couldn't read anything on any board. The oven is completely Korean.... to the point where I couldn't figure it out at all.

The girl who stayed there before me left me a nice folder with a lot of tips and stories which I really appreciated. Although I would've liked to just have somebody explain to me it is quite an unusual thing to be able to understand Korean explanations. I made myself some two minute noodles but it was really bad and not what I expected. It had no flavour what so ever. I climbed in bed on Wednesday night super scared, alone and missing home so much. Homesick struck me hard to the point where I woke up at 4am in the morning and just started crying and I really could stop. I just wanted my mom with me. I stood up and the girl who stayed here before mentioned that there was a South African girl in the same complex as where I stayed. So being wide awake I stood up wrote "Hi" on a sticky note, went over to her room and stuck it. 

The following day at school I was still not in a really great place to communicate and interact with anyone. I really just wanted to be on my own and cry. I made a few Skype calls to my Friend in America (Maryke) to cheer me up a little but even that didn't really work that well. I had lunch with my co-teacher and at lunch I just thought of the people back home and started to get tears in my eyes. The co-teacher didn't know what was going on so I tried my best to explain. I went home at like 5pm and the first thing I did was to go see if this girl saw my sticky note and if she was there. I must say it took quite a lot of guts to actually just walk up to a complete stranger but I guess when you are in a completely different country you kind of have South Africa as a similarity and you grab onto them as you know them for years.

Anyway she was there and she took me on a tour in town. We had some dinner and it was really nice to eat food that I sort of know. I'm usually all in for trying new things and tasting new aromas but if you miss home and really just want mommy's food it helps a little to cure the pain with some food that you know. We also went to a coffee shop to have the most delicious cup of coffee and there after it was off to the Lotte supermarket to buy myself so nice breakfast and some snacks and stuff. So the night ended off with me walking around with my first Korean payslip of 39000Won = R400 for one little bag filled with goods. It's not that cheap after all.

I still miss home a lot and I'm still a little homesick but at least now I can communicate to someone in Afrikaans about stuff that bothers me or stuff I need to figure out. It's gives me some comfort in moving this far and not having any support system with me here. And to be honest it makes me a little bit more positive about moving so far away from home. 

I think so far what I have learned about myself again is the fact that I always choose one person to be close too. And if I think back on my school days and University days I've always done it that way and had one really really important friend which I cared about and loved and cherished. I have a lot of great and close friends and I love them to bits but it's a different type of friendship I guess. It's a relationship I guess... 

Travel Tips 101

The in's and out about travelling 

With every journey you learn certain new things that will make your travel so much easier if you knew this from the start. And this was exactly the case with me in the last few weeks. Although I have done a lot of traveling myself to a few places around the world I can honestly say that this past few days was quite a experience in itself. I never really organized the previous trips but I always knew what was going on behind the sense but obviously that didn't really help me.

Here is my tips:

1. I prefer a hard body suitcase above a material suitcase because it just seems a little stronger and I think it's also easier to force close.

2. Always have a big enough bag especially if you are planning on going for a year.

3. When you pack your bags roll your clothes up into little sausages and tightly as possible and pack them together as tightly as possible. Try to pack the bottom and top layer in the same direction.

4. Take your big bulky jackets in your hand as it won't be weighed and you save up some space in your suitcase.

5. Take an extra hand luggage bag with so that you can spread the weight of your luggage evenly and attempt to avoid overweight penalties.

6. Always pack an extra set of clothes into your hand luggage especially 2 extra panties/jockeys. Bags do get lost on long flights and you might end up waiting as long as a week for your luggage to catch up with you. So it's always night to have a pair of clothes on while you are washing the other set of clothes.

7. Pack your bags a day or 2 before the time to avoid having to live out of your bag for a week and giving yourself the time to still have a choice what to wear.

8. Make sure you don't exceed the liquid limit in you hand luggage and also pack all your liquid bottles into ziplock bags to avoid your clothes from getting washed and stained in the process of your flight. Air pressure is a real thing.

9. If you have a few stop over's in different countries before you reach your end destination send you luggage directly through to your end destination. This will save you some time and effort on the airport because you won't have to wait for your baggage at collections and then book it in again. This will give you some time for the duty free shops.

10. If you have a backpack take it with as it will make your daily traveling overseas so much easier.

11. Always have your documents with you or at least carry copies of the most important documents (passport) in your backpack while touring as you might just encounter a obstacle where you'll need it. Don't carry the originals for incase the backpack get stolen but copies in several different places will do you wonders when you need it most.

12. When it comes to having a contract in a foreign country try and receive the contract before applying for your visa. This might just save you a lot of time.

13. Don't book your flight ticket before you received your passport back from the embassy. This will save you money.

14. Call the embassy everyday just to make sure there is progression when it comes to issuing your visa. This doesn't count for the American and Dutch embassy in South Africa. I'm not sure about the leniency of the other embassies.

15. If you want to go travel a good idea for spending money will be to get a traveler's cheque (ABSA) because you can get dollars/Euro on it and then safe some banking fees whilst overseas. And you don't have to work in Rand.

16. For money exchange you need your passport, ID and flight confirmation to get the money.

17. When you exchange rand for dollars ask the bank to get small notes (5$ and 10$) and not only big notes (50$ or 100$) because when you buy something in a foreign country at a small coffee shop they don't have change for the big notes and thus you won't be able to buy it or if they do have change you will sit with their currency which is not necessarily the same currency as your end destination. Saving you money.

18. When you are actually on the plane high up in the air and your ears are getting sore because of the irregularities of cabin pressure ask the flight attendant for 2 plastic cups and put it over your ears. This will calibrate the cabin pressure and your ear channel pressure. This works wonders for screaming babies too. Oh this might also help you sleep in the plane if you know how to make a screaming baby quiet.

19. Walk around in the plane every 3 hours or so just to keep the blood flowing. Your legs and feet tend to swell a little because of water retention and the altitude.

20. On that note wear loose clothes on a plane. It's much more comfortable and it allows your legs and feet to swell a little and not cause you discomfort. Wearing a pair of jeans is a no go!! Unless its a short flight.

21. If it's a really long flight try and take a sleeping pill just to help you feel rested by the time you reach the other side.

22. Be sure to know in what time zone the airport falls in order to avoid missing your next flight after a lay over. This happened to my family and it delayed our trip by 4 hours which is not nice considering your journey becoming 24 hours long.

23. If you choose your plane seat it's better to take a aisle seat to avoid discomfort when you want to leave your seat and walk around or go to the bathroom.

24. If you travel alone for a very long time make a friend as quickly as possible.

This is all I can think of now.... If I get so learn some new tricks I'll post them here.

The Time is Now

Why wait?

Every year goes by in a blink of the eye. We normally start the new year with another goal in mind and with a positive outlook. And most years these "wishes" stay the same. I want to work harder this year or I want to get bigger and stronger in gym or I want to make more money or I want to spend money on [something]. But at the end of the year we normally look back at the year that just passed and we haven't really reach our goals. 

There is a big mistake that everybody makes. We all live every new years. We all make goals on new years. We take part in this race to reach our goals but in the end we miss the beauty of the journey to get there. We always have the end in mind and it causes us to loose sight of the little things that happens along the way. We are so concentrated on our own goals that we forget the goals of the people around us or even forget their needs. We are so rushed everyday that we forget to look at the beauty of nature. We are so busy to wish every week by just to chill on weekends that we end up wishing for our life to pass. 

Why don't we make new wishes every single day of the year? Why can we not work towards being happy even if it means that today's work won't be done by the end of today? Why not see the beauty of nature you are busy rushing by every single day? Why can't we stop and smile to a complete stranger. Why not talk to that guy that stand on the streets every single day looking for a job? Why don't we look up to the stars and see how many shooting stars we can count? Why don't we make more time to get to know the inner beauty of every person even those closest to you. We seems to miss all of these things. The things that actually matters. 

We also seem to say "maybe tomorrow" a lot and then we end up not doing what we really wanted to do. We end up just going through life not really gaining anything, not learning anything, not improving ourselves at all. We sometimes think to ourselves I really want to do this particular thing or even as crazy as I want to be with this person. We are to scared and always have some excuse to why something won't work or why you can't do something. It's so easy to think of excuses. I can think of a 100 reasons why I can't write this post right now but in the end writing one makes me happy. I let go of things I feel is important for others to know. I open myself up for criticism and remarks.But after it all I am happy by writing things down that's on my heart and by sharing it with people. Always worked for me. 

I'm also guilty of this absurd thing that all human are guilty of. It's absolutely ridiculous. 

So today I challenge you to take 5 minute in your day and just smile to somebody else or laugh at yourself or even if you want to call somebody you hardly ever speak to. Take that 5 minutes in a day and think to yourself how you are going to proceed in reaching your dreams. Do something that makes you happy. 

LIVE - LOVE - LAUGH

∞

My One and Only Valentine

Simple Adventures

To make a girl happy you need two things. Money and lots of it. 

NO I'm kidding.

You need two things. Love and time. Yes only that. 

With these two things you can create anything. When you love somebody it's a natural process to want to give your lover the best and to make them happy. It's in love's nature to care and to think of them. It's in love's nature to want to spend time with them and to want to share moments with them. And then time comes into play. You see, without any love you won't make time for somebody else nor will you spend the time thinking about things the person will adore. Time and love goes hand in hand. You could have all the money in the world but if you don't have the time to spend with the one you love your relationship will go to ruins. If you have all the time in the world but no love your relationship will go to ruins. If you have no money but you have time and love your partner your relationship will be strong and last. 

There is much more than just love, time and money that plays a role in a relationship but these are some of the main factors, according to me, causing people to get divorced in modern days. The grass always looks greener on the other side. I don't really want to talk about divorce and the failure of relationships. Because I'm no expert in that field duh!! And it's just sad!

I just wanted to share a little part of my relationship with you, which is really awesome by the way. So I have this blonde surfer / engineering genius boyfriend right. We met in university and we are ending it all to follow our own dreams and create career paths for ourselves but I don't want to speak about our journey or our crazy decisions. I want to just tell you how awesome my valentine's day/ 4 year anniversary date was. It's quite the unusual dating type of thing. 

He wanted to go for a picnic in the Kirstenbosch Botanical gardens and if you know the gardens you will know its absolutely stunning and really relaxing. Okey yes, that's quite a usual thing to do maybe on valentine's day but we didn't do that. We got there and then he thought of buying a picnic basket but the stuff was so damn expensive that I told him we can go somewhere else and spend half the amount of money. But see money wasn't the point. Having a picnic in a garden at a little pond with baby ducklings walking around is super cute and romanic. So we bought a coffee went to the pond anyway and had a fat chat about everything and anything. 

We decided to go to a local pub for a beer and some tapas and we got free champaign! Yay! Then a craft market which was really expensive so we left. We were talking the night before about getting a puppy of some sort for their house but it as literally only talk and jokes flied everywhere. And obviously this idea stuck so my boyfriend really wanted to go play with pups. So we ended up in Hout Bay at a animal rescue centre and saw about 10 pups we could play with. They might be "gemorsies" but they were so darn cute and playful and when they look at you with those puppy eyes you just want to take them home. 

Then after my boyfriend dragged me away from the pups before I got the courage to take one home, we went home to be in time for the Liverpool game. And man what a game. We won. What better ending to a fully packed valentine's day will you get?

So as I made my point at the top. We didn't spend a lot of money. We spent time together and we did things together that both of us loved and that's the only thing that really ended up mattering. Yes I'm a girl all for expensive dinners and diamonds and spa treatments or get aways in hotels, what woman isn't a fan of that? But to me it's not more important than just spending time with the one I adore deeply and actually just having fun together. 

Oh and did I mention he made me a jewellery box out of wood?

Infinite moments of impact. 

Nostalgic feelings

Goodbye Stellenbosch

This year has been absolutely fantastic. Actually the last 5 years. There are so many memories made in this short 5 years and today I can say I'm done with my studies but the memories I made with my dearest friends are something I'll cherish forever.

I'm feeling a little wretched in a way because this 2nd graduation means that a chapter in my book of life has come to an end, I could rather describe this feeling as nostalgic. But on the other hand an exciting new chapter is about to start, one so erratic and mysterious that most people are scared of it. 

I started my university career in 2010, as a young ignorant Mademoiselle who didn’t know if the course she’s was about to study was in fact the right one. Today I still don't have the answer today. As a freshman I started out being small, insignificant and lost in this unfamiliar student town. I hardly ever thought of who I wanted to become or what my goals were. I did what was expected of me and although I never knew how much time is required to successfully finish my studies I managed to find that balance in my last exam of first year. My father always used to say: “You will find out how much you should study and how much you can party after your first exam". These wise words were true. I had it figured out by my second exam. Thinking back it is rather fascinating how you change in half a decade.

In my spare time I met my closest friends. We built inseparable bonds and made indescribable memories together. We had so many bucket list items that just had to be ticked off and we did tick off a lot of them, like eating ice cream in the Merriman circle in Stellenbosch and swimming in the Coetzenburg dam. They were always keen for a little fun. We also had our combats and our differences but those never stopped us from being loyal to one another and support each other. I also lost some friends but that's how life is. You win some you loose some.  My university life was organized around these people. They were the people I could call family away from home.

I became a woman in the time I spent at University. I have learnt some things the hard way others the easier way and I can truly say I have developed into a woman who is goal driven and fight to achieve them. I learnt how to handle conflict, when to fight and when to let go, be I learnt how to be gentle but not soft and how to stand up for yourself, be fierce but not insensitive. I learnt how to love for the right reasons and not for the wrong. I learnt how to see and concentrate on the strengths of people and not their weaknesses. I learnt how to be a better leader, listener and to speak when necessary. There is so many other qualities that books nor people can teach you but circumstances weave these lessons everyday things like a simple walk to class. 

I was privileged to be able to attend the oldest university in South Africa and being in a world-class university. With it’s hot summer days and its green oak tree shadows and squirrels collecting acorns preparing for the winter months in the summer to the warm colors of autumn that warns you winter is on its way to another type of rainy colorless beauty in winter, it stunts you when you realize how this picturesque place changes from one magnificent view to another and how privileged you actually are.  It's absolutely marvelous to be able to walk out with 2 qualifications. My undergrad was hard but all was worthwhile when I did my education certificate. Picking the fruits for my hard work is an everlasting great experience. It was a chilled year but nonetheless necessary. I’ve learnt so much from the people in my class and my new friends. The experience was enriching from day one. Although really boring at times, the people made it worthwhile. 

I just want to use this time to say thanks to my mother and father who supported me so much throughout my high school career and through my university days. Who was always there for me even in the hardest times but also shared the joys of being a student with me. I want to thank them for giving me the opportunities that gave me new perceptions and knowledge. For loving me unconditionally and giving me so many hugs, kisses and cuddles in the most unbearable times as well as in the celebrations. Thank you Mom and Dad for giving me so much. I love you guys. 

Strength

Just an inspiring message for those in need of it. 

I personally think that I will need to remind myself to be strong when I'm really far from home. Scary times will come but every person have the strength to overcome what is unknown to them. 

This strange thing called Love

"You'll never know what you miss until you have lost it."- Ania Botha

There are a few things in my life I had to learn the hard way. One of them is love. 

What is this mysterious thing called love ? 

Everybody always tells you as a little girl that you will find love and then you will be happier than ever but no one tells you what love means or what it means to be in love. Your parents are mostly the people who shows you that love exists and how to love but how will you ever know who's the ONE you should love?

I looked at this random word or random act a bit. There are so much it asks of you. Love asks you to be more than yourself, it ask of you to not be yourself in some situations and to care more about someone else than yourself; it ask of you to do team work every day; it ask of you to listen without speaking; to read without anything written on a page, to respect someone else more than you respect yourself. Love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonour others, it's not self-seeking, not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoice in truth. It always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. It ask of you to be sincere and considerate. It asks of you to give even if nothing is given back and it asks of you to spend most of your time with one person, to support, cherish and be patience unconditionally, to speak when words are needed and to give a shoulder in times of sorrow. To help you love life and to accept someone for who they are and who you want them to be. To share laughter and happiness. To build memories together and be the best of friends in the world... and more.

And yet, after everything it ask of us to do we still love inevitably. I personally think love is one thing we can be almost certain of will not be of everyone's choosing yet everyone chooses to be loved in some other way or to love somebody.

The definition of love states:
 1. a strong feeling of affection, 
2. a great interest or pleasure in something, 
3. a person or thing that one loves. 

I think there is so much more to it. Its a feeling of belonging no matter where you are as long as those you love are there for you. It's that strong sense of knowing imperfection is more important than perfection. It's something indescribable, non-understandable and magical. It's about moments of impact that would change your life forever.

In my current love life there are two quote that stands out to me the most. 

 "We grew up in a time where we fixed what is broken and didn't just throw it away" and the other one is "If you love something set it free, if it comes back its yours if it doesn't it was never yours"  . I don't know who thought of these quotes but those persons were wise in love and life. In my relationships I have learnt something really important. Besides for the fact that we need to follow society's way of portraying love and do everything and more as mentioned above we should not through away what we initially fought for. All relationships have a beginning that had to start in some other way. In my case the relationship I am in now, needed a lot of fighting for and although we could have said "Lets just leave it and throw it away", we never did. I don't know why we never did but I guess its has to do with this constant desire to love and to be with the person you call your best friend. Yes fighting is always part of a relationship because you and your partner will never have completely the same mindset about things and this will cause disagreement about the smallest things like dishes or placement of a shampoo bottle in the shower. But is it necessary to through everything what you initially fought for away for something so simple? I don't think so. People according to me in the 21st century tend to through things away to quickly because the mentality of getting someone else is very much present.

I have never personally tried long distance but to me that's not even a good enough reason to not be with the one person that makes you happy. Although circumstances is a uncontrollable variable in your life, as it will be next year for me, I guess the only thing you could do is setting what you love free and hoping that someday your paths will cross again. This, to me, is not throwing away what you have because it doesn't work but rather supporting your other half to go beyond borders and reach for their dreams.

Until today I still don't know what it means to love or what the normal procedure is for love but I can say this. Its so real. It crawls in like a shadow at night when you least expect it. When you don't have time. Or in the most absurd circumstances. And you know what ? It might just be the one thing that saves you from going insane. But love is something that must be respected by others. As much as love can cause happiness it could also break a person in two. It could take away a persons desire to love and it could destroy their image of "perfect" love.

I found my best friend in the middle of my first year, in the middle of the dance floor, in the middle of a crowd of people I didn't know at all. And there was this unbelievably handsome man dancing as if no-one was watching. And when he smiled at me it captured me from the beginning and it has been grabbing my heart ever since. It's butterflies in my tummy every time I see him. I found my best friend. It's absolutely crazy how much one person can love another. I firmly believe that things happens for a reason and that it's pointless without that reason. But sometimes we only realise later in life why we loved someone and what the reason was for loving them.

I do not have children yet, hoping in the future that will become a reality so I cannot speak about the love a parent has for a child. But if it's anything or more like the love you feel for your spouse then it should be an absolute breathtaking feeling.

To end off I would just say that my current relationship has been going for 4 years and its honestly been one of the best experiences of my life. I have my best friend to thank for shaping and moulding me into someone who admires love and how to truly love someone unconditionally.

I love you.





"I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more" - Christina Perry