This strange thing called Love

"You'll never know what you miss until you have lost it."- Ania Botha

There are a few things in my life I had to learn the hard way. One of them is love. 

What is this mysterious thing called love ? 

Everybody always tells you as a little girl that you will find love and then you will be happier than ever but no one tells you what love means or what it means to be in love. Your parents are mostly the people who shows you that love exists and how to love but how will you ever know who's the ONE you should love?

I looked at this random word or random act a bit. There are so much it asks of you. Love asks you to be more than yourself, it ask of you to not be yourself in some situations and to care more about someone else than yourself; it ask of you to do team work every day; it ask of you to listen without speaking; to read without anything written on a page, to respect someone else more than you respect yourself. Love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonour others, it's not self-seeking, not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoice in truth. It always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. It ask of you to be sincere and considerate. It asks of you to give even if nothing is given back and it asks of you to spend most of your time with one person, to support, cherish and be patience unconditionally, to speak when words are needed and to give a shoulder in times of sorrow. To help you love life and to accept someone for who they are and who you want them to be. To share laughter and happiness. To build memories together and be the best of friends in the world... and more.

And yet, after everything it ask of us to do we still love inevitably. I personally think love is one thing we can be almost certain of will not be of everyone's choosing yet everyone chooses to be loved in some other way or to love somebody.

The definition of love states:
 1. a strong feeling of affection, 
2. a great interest or pleasure in something, 
3. a person or thing that one loves. 

I think there is so much more to it. Its a feeling of belonging no matter where you are as long as those you love are there for you. It's that strong sense of knowing imperfection is more important than perfection. It's something indescribable, non-understandable and magical. It's about moments of impact that would change your life forever.

In my current love life there are two quote that stands out to me the most. 

 "We grew up in a time where we fixed what is broken and didn't just throw it away" and the other one is "If you love something set it free, if it comes back its yours if it doesn't it was never yours"  . I don't know who thought of these quotes but those persons were wise in love and life. In my relationships I have learnt something really important. Besides for the fact that we need to follow society's way of portraying love and do everything and more as mentioned above we should not through away what we initially fought for. All relationships have a beginning that had to start in some other way. In my case the relationship I am in now, needed a lot of fighting for and although we could have said "Lets just leave it and throw it away", we never did. I don't know why we never did but I guess its has to do with this constant desire to love and to be with the person you call your best friend. Yes fighting is always part of a relationship because you and your partner will never have completely the same mindset about things and this will cause disagreement about the smallest things like dishes or placement of a shampoo bottle in the shower. But is it necessary to through everything what you initially fought for away for something so simple? I don't think so. People according to me in the 21st century tend to through things away to quickly because the mentality of getting someone else is very much present.

I have never personally tried long distance but to me that's not even a good enough reason to not be with the one person that makes you happy. Although circumstances is a uncontrollable variable in your life, as it will be next year for me, I guess the only thing you could do is setting what you love free and hoping that someday your paths will cross again. This, to me, is not throwing away what you have because it doesn't work but rather supporting your other half to go beyond borders and reach for their dreams.

Until today I still don't know what it means to love or what the normal procedure is for love but I can say this. Its so real. It crawls in like a shadow at night when you least expect it. When you don't have time. Or in the most absurd circumstances. And you know what ? It might just be the one thing that saves you from going insane. But love is something that must be respected by others. As much as love can cause happiness it could also break a person in two. It could take away a persons desire to love and it could destroy their image of "perfect" love.

I found my best friend in the middle of my first year, in the middle of the dance floor, in the middle of a crowd of people I didn't know at all. And there was this unbelievably handsome man dancing as if no-one was watching. And when he smiled at me it captured me from the beginning and it has been grabbing my heart ever since. It's butterflies in my tummy every time I see him. I found my best friend. It's absolutely crazy how much one person can love another. I firmly believe that things happens for a reason and that it's pointless without that reason. But sometimes we only realise later in life why we loved someone and what the reason was for loving them.

I do not have children yet, hoping in the future that will become a reality so I cannot speak about the love a parent has for a child. But if it's anything or more like the love you feel for your spouse then it should be an absolute breathtaking feeling.

To end off I would just say that my current relationship has been going for 4 years and its honestly been one of the best experiences of my life. I have my best friend to thank for shaping and moulding me into someone who admires love and how to truly love someone unconditionally.

I love you.





"I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more" - Christina Perry