Nostalgic feelings

Goodbye Stellenbosch

This year has been absolutely fantastic. Actually the last 5 years. There are so many memories made in this short 5 years and today I can say I'm done with my studies but the memories I made with my dearest friends are something I'll cherish forever.

I'm feeling a little wretched in a way because this 2nd graduation means that a chapter in my book of life has come to an end, I could rather describe this feeling as nostalgic. But on the other hand an exciting new chapter is about to start, one so erratic and mysterious that most people are scared of it. 

I started my university career in 2010, as a young ignorant Mademoiselle who didn’t know if the course she’s was about to study was in fact the right one. Today I still don't have the answer today. As a freshman I started out being small, insignificant and lost in this unfamiliar student town. I hardly ever thought of who I wanted to become or what my goals were. I did what was expected of me and although I never knew how much time is required to successfully finish my studies I managed to find that balance in my last exam of first year. My father always used to say: “You will find out how much you should study and how much you can party after your first exam". These wise words were true. I had it figured out by my second exam. Thinking back it is rather fascinating how you change in half a decade.

In my spare time I met my closest friends. We built inseparable bonds and made indescribable memories together. We had so many bucket list items that just had to be ticked off and we did tick off a lot of them, like eating ice cream in the Merriman circle in Stellenbosch and swimming in the Coetzenburg dam. They were always keen for a little fun. We also had our combats and our differences but those never stopped us from being loyal to one another and support each other. I also lost some friends but that's how life is. You win some you loose some.  My university life was organized around these people. They were the people I could call family away from home.

I became a woman in the time I spent at University. I have learnt some things the hard way others the easier way and I can truly say I have developed into a woman who is goal driven and fight to achieve them. I learnt how to handle conflict, when to fight and when to let go, be I learnt how to be gentle but not soft and how to stand up for yourself, be fierce but not insensitive. I learnt how to love for the right reasons and not for the wrong. I learnt how to see and concentrate on the strengths of people and not their weaknesses. I learnt how to be a better leader, listener and to speak when necessary. There is so many other qualities that books nor people can teach you but circumstances weave these lessons everyday things like a simple walk to class. 

I was privileged to be able to attend the oldest university in South Africa and being in a world-class university. With it’s hot summer days and its green oak tree shadows and squirrels collecting acorns preparing for the winter months in the summer to the warm colors of autumn that warns you winter is on its way to another type of rainy colorless beauty in winter, it stunts you when you realize how this picturesque place changes from one magnificent view to another and how privileged you actually are.  It's absolutely marvelous to be able to walk out with 2 qualifications. My undergrad was hard but all was worthwhile when I did my education certificate. Picking the fruits for my hard work is an everlasting great experience. It was a chilled year but nonetheless necessary. I’ve learnt so much from the people in my class and my new friends. The experience was enriching from day one. Although really boring at times, the people made it worthwhile. 

I just want to use this time to say thanks to my mother and father who supported me so much throughout my high school career and through my university days. Who was always there for me even in the hardest times but also shared the joys of being a student with me. I want to thank them for giving me the opportunities that gave me new perceptions and knowledge. For loving me unconditionally and giving me so many hugs, kisses and cuddles in the most unbearable times as well as in the celebrations. Thank you Mom and Dad for giving me so much. I love you guys. 

I'm going to Korea

Wow

That's all I can say. Wow. Things are starting to move quickly now. So I had my interview about 2 weeks ago. I was so stressed and so worried. The thoughts "I hope I say the right things and is this actually happening ? What if I say something wrong ? What am I going to do if I don't pass ? What this, what that......" all went through my head constantly. My interview was at 7am (CAT) which means I couldn't oversleep at all. This caused, like always, that very little sleep happened that night prior to the interview. I was awake about every hour looking at the clock. 3am, 4am, 5am and then came the time I had to get up at 6am with hardly any sleep and still stressing.

My boyfriend was so supportive and told me so many times not to stress and that everything will go just fine.

I spoke to my recruitment agency and I found out something really interesting. In Afrikaans we use "JA" as "YES" soooo often. "JA" actually means something completely different in Korea. I cannot say what it means here, it's really rude lol.  

After almost an hour of interviewing and about 5 days of waiting for the results I finally got the courage to look at my emails after a nice day on the water at our holiday house and a cocktail in the hand I received the greatest news ever.
I passed my interview which means the only thing I still need to do is send some documents and sign the contract and then this little butterfly is flying.

Yeah I celebrated for a whole week not only because I passed my interview but also because I'm getting my second degree. This is the reason I took so long to write. It's crazy how fast a year flies by and how fast things can fall into place and out of place.

I can already say that change is something I'll have to get used to very soon. But who is scared of that ? Me? No ways!! 

The Wait....

I am currently waiting for my interview and oh the wait is long.

I sent in my applications after this fix and that fix and when it was eventually done I sent it through to the company I worked through. I passed the first step but now.... The steps that follows ain't that easy.

I have heard from a few people who got rejected but my hopes are still high. I still have a chance to "WOW" them with my charming self but I can tell you this its stressful. Its quite unfortunate that we need to bounce right back after university to where we initially started after school. All the University applications and the long waits for approval and the access tests (interviews) we had to undergo just to end where we are after university and start the whole process all over again.

I have no idea what would be expected of me in that interview and that in itself is quite scary. My dad asked me the question: "What difference did you make in university?" At first I didn't know how to answer him but by thinking about that question made me realise how much I did in my university life and also how much I have changed in the last 5 years. It's quite strange to say it but I am officially an adult, have been for sometime, but I still want to be a kid in so many ways.

Anyway this is some exciting times.

∞

Strength

Just an inspiring message for those in need of it. 

I personally think that I will need to remind myself to be strong when I'm really far from home. Scary times will come but every person have the strength to overcome what is unknown to them. 

This strange thing called Love

"You'll never know what you miss until you have lost it."- Ania Botha

There are a few things in my life I had to learn the hard way. One of them is love. 

What is this mysterious thing called love ? 

Everybody always tells you as a little girl that you will find love and then you will be happier than ever but no one tells you what love means or what it means to be in love. Your parents are mostly the people who shows you that love exists and how to love but how will you ever know who's the ONE you should love?

I looked at this random word or random act a bit. There are so much it asks of you. Love asks you to be more than yourself, it ask of you to not be yourself in some situations and to care more about someone else than yourself; it ask of you to do team work every day; it ask of you to listen without speaking; to read without anything written on a page, to respect someone else more than you respect yourself. Love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonour others, it's not self-seeking, not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoice in truth. It always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. It ask of you to be sincere and considerate. It asks of you to give even if nothing is given back and it asks of you to spend most of your time with one person, to support, cherish and be patience unconditionally, to speak when words are needed and to give a shoulder in times of sorrow. To help you love life and to accept someone for who they are and who you want them to be. To share laughter and happiness. To build memories together and be the best of friends in the world... and more.

And yet, after everything it ask of us to do we still love inevitably. I personally think love is one thing we can be almost certain of will not be of everyone's choosing yet everyone chooses to be loved in some other way or to love somebody.

The definition of love states:
 1. a strong feeling of affection, 
2. a great interest or pleasure in something, 
3. a person or thing that one loves. 

I think there is so much more to it. Its a feeling of belonging no matter where you are as long as those you love are there for you. It's that strong sense of knowing imperfection is more important than perfection. It's something indescribable, non-understandable and magical. It's about moments of impact that would change your life forever.

In my current love life there are two quote that stands out to me the most. 

 "We grew up in a time where we fixed what is broken and didn't just throw it away" and the other one is "If you love something set it free, if it comes back its yours if it doesn't it was never yours"  . I don't know who thought of these quotes but those persons were wise in love and life. In my relationships I have learnt something really important. Besides for the fact that we need to follow society's way of portraying love and do everything and more as mentioned above we should not through away what we initially fought for. All relationships have a beginning that had to start in some other way. In my case the relationship I am in now, needed a lot of fighting for and although we could have said "Lets just leave it and throw it away", we never did. I don't know why we never did but I guess its has to do with this constant desire to love and to be with the person you call your best friend. Yes fighting is always part of a relationship because you and your partner will never have completely the same mindset about things and this will cause disagreement about the smallest things like dishes or placement of a shampoo bottle in the shower. But is it necessary to through everything what you initially fought for away for something so simple? I don't think so. People according to me in the 21st century tend to through things away to quickly because the mentality of getting someone else is very much present.

I have never personally tried long distance but to me that's not even a good enough reason to not be with the one person that makes you happy. Although circumstances is a uncontrollable variable in your life, as it will be next year for me, I guess the only thing you could do is setting what you love free and hoping that someday your paths will cross again. This, to me, is not throwing away what you have because it doesn't work but rather supporting your other half to go beyond borders and reach for their dreams.

Until today I still don't know what it means to love or what the normal procedure is for love but I can say this. Its so real. It crawls in like a shadow at night when you least expect it. When you don't have time. Or in the most absurd circumstances. And you know what ? It might just be the one thing that saves you from going insane. But love is something that must be respected by others. As much as love can cause happiness it could also break a person in two. It could take away a persons desire to love and it could destroy their image of "perfect" love.

I found my best friend in the middle of my first year, in the middle of the dance floor, in the middle of a crowd of people I didn't know at all. And there was this unbelievably handsome man dancing as if no-one was watching. And when he smiled at me it captured me from the beginning and it has been grabbing my heart ever since. It's butterflies in my tummy every time I see him. I found my best friend. It's absolutely crazy how much one person can love another. I firmly believe that things happens for a reason and that it's pointless without that reason. But sometimes we only realise later in life why we loved someone and what the reason was for loving them.

I do not have children yet, hoping in the future that will become a reality so I cannot speak about the love a parent has for a child. But if it's anything or more like the love you feel for your spouse then it should be an absolute breathtaking feeling.

To end off I would just say that my current relationship has been going for 4 years and its honestly been one of the best experiences of my life. I have my best friend to thank for shaping and moulding me into someone who admires love and how to truly love someone unconditionally.

I love you.





"I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more" - Christina Perry

A Little Butterfly

Welcome to my blog

I always liked writing about things I experience and so I thought by myself: "Why not create a accessible blog where I can share my thoughts, experiences and my adventures?"

As a child I had the opportunity to travel to a few places all over the world (except the east) mainly Europe and America. These trips were some of the best memories I had with my family and sometimes I wish I had known how to blog sooner to diarise my experiences with photos. But now that I'm older I realize my journey is not quite over yet so better now then never. 

I am currently at the foot of the biggest adventure of my life. I'm finishing my studies soon after a very enriching learning experience. 5 years after leaving high school and being in a world class University,  I will officially be part of the world's so called educated "elites". It is one extraordinary experience no one can take away from you. It's an experience where you get to know yourself, make difficult decisions that will influence the rest of your life and you learn that you don't need to always know everything but its important to admit when you are wrong. Besides for that you learn how to think for yourself and how to be disciplined enough to do what is necessary and expected of you and you also learn how to live a balanced life (very important). One of the first things you learn in University is how much you should work and how much you can party inorder to pass. And my Dad actually tought me that. Thus the "work hard, play hard" type of thing. 

I am 23 at the moment and although I stayed in Stellenbosch in a few flats and digs with fellow students  I never quite left home. Stellenbosch student life was amazing and I can honestly say it was the best time of my life thus-far.  But 30 min from the love of my parents is not far enough to keep me away from my my moms food and my dad's hugs and my brothers determination to become physically bigger. I grew up in the Northern Suburbs of Cape Town , went to school here, did everything for the first time here and gor my first set of rules here too. Nonetheless. Its is fantastic to have the option to go  home and to know that its possible for my parents to support me whenever heartbreak or academic difficulty take over. 

Yes I have learned a lot but now its time to spread my wings and fly away from the nest to learn a hell lot more from the world. Staying in the warm loving nest is fantastic and although I'm going to fly I know that my nest might move but the 2 most important people in my life will always be there. 

I am in the process of applying for a english teaching post in Korea for next year. I'll be traveling, meeting new people from different cultures and seeing new interesting, historically rich places. I'm going to be a little butterfly, fly around the world in search of the life I want to live as well as being exposed to a whole new field of knowledge and learning experiences. This is my time to fly solo for the first time in my life and I want to share this journey with you. Like a butterfly I'll be independent in a world so unfathomably big. 

I hope it will inspire you to fly too. 

Enjoy my "Little Butterfly" Blog