The start to my new Journey

MIXED FEELINGS

So the last few weeks I've been applying for a whole range of jobs with the hopes that I would strike one of them lucky. I applied for jobs on boats, thought of aupairing in America, going to Thailand or China for english or even doing modelling in China while teaching english. I never heard anything back from any of these endevours, or they required large upfront payments. This made me so despondent about my future and my dream plan to go overseas that I was really close to giving up. However, I'm not somebody that really gives up and folds when things get difficult so I just carried on doing what I was doing. Like I said in my previous blog post, my PA has other plans for me and thus my plans are not of any value. 

I got yet another wake up phone call requesting my presence on Skype. Being super negative already and really "Gatvol" for the whole process did kill my mood and desire to go overseas. But I thought to myself: "What the heck, just do the interview and get it over and done with. Hopefully this will be the one". So still in bed very sleepy and not fully rested (well maybe I was rested but having had holiday for the past 3 months didn't really help the sleeping pattern case nor the daily routine) I got out of bed, went for a shower and then BAM, all these questions and thoughts jumped into my head - Smile and be friendly, and don't say JA. MMM wander what they going to ask me?... What am I going to wear? Wander if I'm going to talk to a woman or a man. Will they be friendly and talkative. I wander where the school is exactly... And it didn't stop. 

So I finally had the interview, it was a very friendly woman speaking, and it all went well but it was a very short interview of like 12 minutes. I mean, who can get to know somebody in just 12 minutes unless you have already made up your mind about them. And only 4 questions were proposed. So I ended the interview with no real hope about getting the job. It didn't work the first 5 times so why would it work now?! And then in the same week they told me that they prefer American candidates because their students just understand them better. Soooo no hope there and I just continued on my everlasting job seeking journey. 

The week goes by and yet another wakeup call. This time I only had 3 hours of sleep so I'm a little grumpy, once again sleepy and not really that much in the mood for yet another interview at all which is what I expected when I saw the agency calling me for the n'teenth time. I thought: "Really now, Really. Another one". 

But....

This time I got hit by probably the biggest hammer right between the eyes. The voice on the other side of the line said: "We got you a contract." I was like: "Wait, What? A contract from who, where... what?" I was so stunned by the news that for a second I couldn't think straight and obviously I forgot to ask half the questions I was suppose to ask and had to call back later that day. But whatever, that doesn't matter. 

What matters is I GOT A CONTRACT = I GOT A JOB!!!!!!

Now here comes the part which explains the title: I have been spending so much quality time with my family and friends that the idea of leaving just got all the more weirder and scarier. Yes I still want to go but I think a lot of crocodile tears will follow me. And not to mention that I'm not gonna be around to see my one friends little pink foot when he arrives in the world. And I'm kind of breaking things off with my boyfriend whom I deeply adore as well. And then on the other hand (positive side) I am so excited to start my life and to stand on my own 2 feet and spread my wings that I'm vibrating with excitement. But more importantly I am extremely ready, committed and exhilarated to reintroduce myself to Me, the woman that I am today and figuring out what I stand for, making my own decisions without anyones influence and finding out what I am interested in and what I love doing. So yes, taking all of that into consideration I think it's pretty understandable where mixed feelings are coming from.

Now it's admin time and organising time since I have probably less than a month left in my beautiful country. I hope that everything will run smoothly and that I will be able to fly with happiness and determination. 

Okey! okey! Yes! I will definitely do all of that anyway. 

SUPER EXCITED THAT MY JOURNEY IS FINALLY STARTING!!!!!!

"The world is my oyster and I will conquer the world taking on all opportunities that will seed my success." - Me