A writers problem - Inspiration

Writ˙er/ raiter (noun) - a peculiar organism capable of transforming caffeine into books.

The past 3 months maybe 4 months or even longer, I'm quite honestly not sure, I have been writing my blog posts one after the other. I don't think it has all to do with the fact that I am on this marvellous journey without any cares or any major responsibilities. Lately I have been struggling to write a good piece of work ( on my standards) and it got me wondering a little. 

If somebody asks me how I would describe an artist or writer I would say alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and free spirited. Now this doesn't describe all of them of course but I do however have this picture in my head. I'm not quite sure why but sometimes I think that to become a good story writer you need to let yourself go a bit. Experience life instead of spending it behind the book shelves.... 

As of late I kind of have been struggling to write and it got me thinking a little about the transformation I have been going through lately. I left Cape Town with a shattered heart and not knowing where to find all the pieces to put the puzzle back together and then on top of that not knowing where the hell I'm going although I knew the destination. Korea! Since everything was super new I used my writing as a way to work through my sorrows and pain, as a way to find the pieces and find myself I suppose as well, writing came easy to me. I guess since I started this blog I was overwhelmed by emotions and thoughts trying to organise everything, trying to spend as much time with the now an ex, my best friends and parents. Knowing it's hard for everyone around me I fed off their emotions a little as well. I was a contained wreck so to say. 

This has kind of changed lately.... As I'm typing this post I really need to think what I'm gonna say next and it's kind of irritating in a sense. Time heals everything and I'm actually happy at the moment spending time by myself although I get bored quite quickly. I'm not really somebody who would choose to spend time on my own if I have another option.  I made friends, the unknown is not so much the unknown anymore and I think I'm finally in the phase of moving forward and opening myself up to the idea of letting someone in to love me again. Yes it's quite soon but hey, YOLO.... life goes on. I got reminded this week that life is to short to waste time on things that doesn't make you happy. I can't sit and wait around forever and quite frankly I'm done waiting. So as for now in this moment I'm not feeling much, the emotional rollercoaster just stopped and I just got off. The next ride will take me by surprise and will come sooner or later. Might as well start getting excited.

I also think that my lack of managing my money at this stage and not being able to go out as well as the whole MERS thing plays a big role. Not doing much ploughs over to not having stories to tell. This is probably a more valid reason why I'm not writing. And yet I just wrote this post....

"They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world- someone to love, something to do and something to hope for" - Tom Bodett