Relationships in South Korea

Things are completely different here... 

Recently I had somewhat of an awkward experience with a Korean guy. Since I got to Korea the cultural differences was quite apparent and after I thought to myself ' you know everything now' I got surprised yet again. Before I explain the whole story behind this post I should first tell you a story. Things are different here and if you don't know the culture you could find yourself in a little bit of a situation. 

About a month ago I met a Korean guy on the subway platform and after talking for the whole ride home on the subway we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. After meeting we saw each other for a friendly dinner once thereafter. Last week I got a message saying he would like to see me again and he also informed me he wanted to see where I stayed. Coming from Busan he doesn't know this area at all so to him it's almost like sightseeing. Gezina (South African next door neighbour) and I decided to make some pancakes for sunday lunch and I thought this is the perfect time to invite my Korean friend over. I mean it's a nice opportunity to introduce a little of my culture. That night whilst making coffee and watching a movie I got kissed by my Korean friend. Not interested and shocked out of my shoes I said to him I'm in the mood for ice cream just to get him out of my flat and into a public place. We went to Baskin Robbins and I ordered a Double Junior (2 scoops) and he ordered a single scoop and insisted on paying. After seeing there is 2 scoops in mine he canceled his single and asked for 2 spoons. WHAT!!! I don't get my own ice cream? We said goodbye at the bus stop with a friendly hug. 

In Korea it is very uncommon for women and men to be friends. Korean woman only go out to town with their girlfriends and the men with their boyfriends never mixing the groups up. The only time the groups will be mixed up will be when the 2 sexes are in a relationship. And relationships are really important and quite a big thing in Korea. 

When in a relationship with a korean man the woman has almost no say in anything. The man decides what the woman eats, wears and drinks. The man decides where they will be going and what time. Women have no say in anything. This is in majority of relationships in Korea. There is obviously exceptions sometimes. Everything are shared. It is very common to see a couple sharing snacks or dessert or food. 

Something else to consider or more keep in mind is the meaning of a hug. In South Africa we hug our friends and family when we say hello and goodbye or congratulations or condolences. Here in Korea a hug doesn't have that significance instead when you do receive a hug from a Korean guy the chances are that the hug means much more than what you think. I realized this after I found it very weird that my Korean friend asked me "What did the hug mean to you?" Never in my life have I been asked that and in South Africa guys would rather concentrate on the meaning of a kiss rather than a hug. Here a hug only get shared in relationships and it's a sign of affection. This put me in a very awkward spot as a hug to me mean completely something else. Instead of counting the amount of times you went on dates like back at home here they count the amount of hugs. This is confusing though since it is really common for guys to hug each other and hold each other's hands as a sign of friendship and the same for girls. But when it comes to cross gender hugs they count.   

Another thing I found out which luckily doesn't apply to me is that instead of having the 3 dates rule like in some places in the world Koreans have the 10 dates rule before sleeping together is considered. I like this rule a little more if I had to choose between the two. I wonder how the power play works in the bedroom.... 

It also happens that foreigners are seen more a trophy to date rather than the whole idea of actually really caring about the other person. It is extremely cool to be able to have a foreigner's number on your phone and being able to show your friends. A lot of the times the Korean guy will also have a Korean girlfriend whilst dating you and the thing is you won't know because of the big cultural difference and the language. 

Things like these doesn't happen to all and you do get gentlemen but ladies just be aware of the differences just incase you find yourself in an unpleasant situation.