The Downside to moving Overseas.

The truth...

I think most people who moved overseas will agree with what I have to say in this post. It's not really a big secret that I probably made one of the most selfish decision of my life. And I'm not a selfish person in nature at all so making this decision was hard.

I have only been to one country and thus I haven't fully experienced the whole traveling thing. Yes, traveling to another country for 2 weeks also counts but it merely gives you a glimpse of that country and you never really settle down and evaluate life since it's so damn busy. 

People told me how awesome it was to travel overseas and how it will benefit you, how it broaden their horizons and makes you a more open-minded person. People told me all the great, fantastic things that they experienced but there's the flaw in their comments and their stories. They don't tell you what they went through emotionally to get there. They don't tell you the negatives, only the positives. 

I saw this post on Facebook and I thought I would post it on my blog as well since it's extremely relevant to how I currently experience things. 

1. Your loved ones will be devastated. 

No matter how you try to sugarcoat it, moving abroad is essentially a selfish decision. It's great because you are following your dreams and you are choosing a life you would want to live but in reality you are not making anyone other than yourself happy.  Someone will get hurt. I think if I decide to stay overseas for longer than a year there will be family members who would get really upset. 

I think my amazing friends hide their feelings from me in order to show support. They don't want to share their doubts, fears and "What the hell are you doing" thoughts. 

I think the bottom line here is that although you are the one moving and making the big change leaving everything you know behind, you are causing everyone else's life the change. 

2. You feel guilty all the time

Every time someone from home wants to talk or want to skype with you and you are busy or out and about exploring and making the most of your time you feel guilty. 

A good friend of mine broke the news to me that she was 5 months pregnant just before I left for Korea. I climbed on the plane knowing that I won't be able to be there for her when the baby comes, nor will I be able to help her arrange the baby room or make a list of the things she needs, for the babyshower.

My grandfather had a health scare very soon after I left for Korea and I couldn't be there just to ask how his feeling or make him a cup of tea. 

This might sound stupid but I couldn't give my cute doggie a tummy rub or a cuddle after he go run over by a car. 

You aren't there for he lows nor are you there for the highs. I missed my grandmother's and father's birthday and I know already now that I will miss my only brother's 21st. And in the future... how do you choose between a family members birthday party or a friends wedding or the cressening of a baby? You can't fly back and forth the whole time. And choosing one will prevent you from going to the other.

I think it became clear to me that time and finances will ultimately be the determining factor of my social life and the choices that I make. 

Life goes on back at home and you aren't apart of it and you can't support anyone. It makes you feel like a horrible person especially when your family and friends start telling you how much they wish you shared some memory with them. 

3. You'll feel really, really lonely 

Everything is so new that you feel overwhelmed at first. It suppresses the feeling of feeling lonely even though you are pretty much alone. But after a little while it does crawl in. 

You meet so many people and you create new friendships and life is just awesome but then you still get that feeling. The feeling of being alone becomes very prominent even though you are sitting at a dining table with 10 great friends or if you are surrounded by smiling little faces all day. It's inevitable. It happens. 

The reason? Well it's pretty simple. No one shares your previous memories or stories with you. The friendships you have are very fun and exciting but they aren't really relationships or deep concurred friendships. You hardly know their past and you don't know how you should or shouldn't act around them. You throw balls at them and you see what sticks.  

Sometimes it feels like that first few days of University but the difference is your loved ones aren't as close as they used to be... They are in a whole different country. 

4. You won't fit in anymore.

Moving here, and yes its only been 3 months, changed me already. I discovered things I love and hate and also came to terms that it's okay not to like something and voice it. I learned really quickly how to take control of my own life and make decisions for myself without the input of somebody else or considering somebody else for that matter. Some things/ mindsets/believes I had to change because it just wasn't relevant anymore (Pointless). 

All of this is good but in reality or in the bigger picture it's also alienating me from those I used to know and from what I used to call home. Because a big part of me growing into an independent adult is happening somewhere else entirely it's hard to identify with what used to be making it rather in some cases impossible. The problem with this is that when I'm gonna go home after being away so long people will expect the old me to pitch up at their doorstep where as this will not be the case.

When you are in a different country you make yourself at home. You build everything from the ground up. You start with a suitcase and build yourself up to a house filled with the things you like. You build memories in that house and attach meaning to certain things. But you still lack the roots and history since you haven't been there your whole life and despite your best efforts you will never fit in completely. 

Some people ask themselves where they want to get old and retire. As a traveler your biggest problem is that you have alienated yourself from your home country and you never really completely fit in at your current destination so you end up moving from one place to the next in the hopes that you would find a place to call home, but this never really happens. Answering questions like "Where do I belong?", "Where is home?"  becomes a struggle causing most people to hop around the globe. 

5. You lose dear friends

You grow apart. What might have been the best friendships and the strongest bonds disappears. And it's no one's fault.  

My simple reason for this: you live it separate realities. 

Choosing different paths ends friendships, just like it ends relationships. It's inevitable, it's life but that doesn't make it easy. By losing friends you lose a part of yourself and your history. 

When I left the airport and said goodbye to my friends everyone promised me that they would keep in contact with me. They wanted to skype every week and follow my journey. And most of it was empty promises. 

In general your family and friends cannot fully relate to your stories despite your best efforts. Most of the time when you do speak to people back home they want to know about all your experiences since it's fascinating and different and why won't they? But by always speaking about yourself and about your life gets rather boring to be honest. 

Nevermind the fact that I, like many others, get irritated in doing so for the simple fact that it's all about us and we hardly get to talk about the things that's happening back at home. We are pushed to alienation since everything at home stays the same according to those back at home when, quite frankly it doesn't.

We make time and appointments with those back home to talk but a lot of the time those skype sessions are either cut short because life goes on or it's canceled because of routine. 

It's rather sad to me that I talk to my close friends maybe once a week or even maybe once in 2 weeks where I used to talk to them every single day. Most of the time I find out about things that happens back at home via Facebook which is not ideal. Imagine a world without Facebook or Skype for that matter where a post card takes a month to deliver. 

Muuido Island

4TH of JULY - Independence day

This weekend was a special day for Americans. Independence day. And as most people who had encounters with Americans before would know it's a big celebration amongst all Americans.

We went to an island close to the Incheon International Airport just off the coast of Korea. It's a rather small island with the weirdest sea tides I have even encountered. At high tide there is waves and you can walk into the ocean for a few hundred meters with the water only reaching hip- height. With low-tide you can walk for a few hundred meters without even knowing that there is an ocean. You can't see the ocean from the beach.

It was fantastic to share this awesome day with them. And that on a beach made it even better. What better do you get than a beach fire, Fireworks, alcohol or let me rather just say beer and absolutely great people around you, oh, a guitar and endless walks on the beach with great company discovering luminescent creatures of the sea. These are the elements that makes great memories. In our group we were 9 people of which there was only one guy so the girls took over. There was this amazing little Korean Restaurant on the beach right next to my Bungalow which means I didn't had to walk far to fill my tummy with some nice Korean pancakes and awesome Bulgogi.

We bought our beverages and the fireworks later the Saturday evening just before we started to celebrate with everybody else. We ended up with a big group of other Americans who also thought of spending their weekend on the island. Mind you we got caught in the cross fire of those Americans and their Roman candles (type of firework).

The next day we headed back in a really grand bus, after taking the ferry over the waters of course. Our bus broke down half way through our journey home but with such comfortability after not sleeping much the night before I couldn't care less.

One of my friends comprised this video that captures all the greatness of this weekend. Take a look. 

Arrival on the Island.

In the back ground you would see the awesome small bungalows we stayed at.

First Lunch on the island and our first cheers.

Eating a really expensive but really nice dish of seafood. 

This is how you sleep. On the floor with no mattress. 

Enjoying some mokali or Rice wine.

I had to take a picture like we normally
would take a picture with a glass of wine.

My friend, Nathalie, and I having some sparkling fun. 

Selfies always necessary. 

My Korean American Friends

This is a must for a beach party.
Every guitar player needs a break.

On our way home in a really comfortable bus. 

Wide seats, Foot rest and Coffee = Comfortable

WANDERLUST

(n) A irresistable desire or urge to wander or travel and explore the world

Lately I got the question: "When are you coming back to South Africa" alot. Obviously the answer would be after my contract finish but I'm not so sure about that yet. 

I have so many other things I'm thinking of doing and seeing that it's hard for me to give a specific date on when I'm coming back. Here is my current thoughts.

I finish my contract end of March next year. I really want to see Vietnam, Cambodia and China and I'm thinking of doing a nice 3 weeks, maybe longer, trip through those countries. Then after that I really want to go to Holland for a month and visit my amazing family on that side. And make some money to cover my expenses. I definitely want to visit Parys again sometime in my life and I would also like to go loose myself in Rome. Then I would also really like to go to England for a little while but maybe that's a little to much, I'll see. Then summer Camps start around June in America. I want to do at least on of those 3 month working camp. And save up some money to afford my flight ticket home. Maybe even travel somewhere else whilst I'm there... 

Naked Soul

"The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up"- Marilyn Monroe

I visited a Jumjibang this weekend for the first time since I've been to Korea and man was it a weird experience. A Jumjibang is a 24/7 spa with hot tubs and body scrubs available to your disposal. You can also sleep at the spa on the floor or in a separate room depending how comfortable you want to be since the rooms have aircon and beds. 

A day in AFRICA

Country Roads, Take me home, to the place I belong...

I had a stunning day.

They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach but today a tjoppie filled my heart with pride and joy. I attended the Annual Nanji Braai day today with South Africans i didn't even know. It was just amazing to hear afrikaans music play loudly in the background whilst braaiing a nice tjoppie and some boerewors.

The gees was high. Not only did we have the music but we enjoyed the beverages as well, a nice cold beer in the face of South African flags put up all around. I felt a little closer to home even though I was 22000km away. The sun was hot and the wind was still. It was an absolute perfect day. I also got to speak some afrikaans and sing along to Kurt Daren's Span die seile and Ek wil nou huis toe gaan na mamma toe. Jack Parow and Die Antwoord was also part of the mix.

I took my American friend with who has visited South Africa last year and knew what it ment to braai. Like I explained in an earlier blogpost there is a big difference between Braai and BBQ. It's not the same. Anyway. I didn't know anyone who went to the braai so when we arrived we had to find some people we could crash with. I magically ran into a Afrikaans girl who I met at the GEPIK orientation week. I haven't really spoken or seen her after that week so it was great to catch up a little. She introduced me to her sister and the sisters husband. The 5 of us had a nice Braai together and ended up entering ourselves into a game of Bubble Soccer. 

Bubble soccer is so much fun. You get points for every goal you get which is really not that easy since you have to get up from the ground half the time after literally being bounced. It was so much fun and i couldn't stop laughing. Each team also had a row of water balloons on their quarter line which had to be protected. If you burst all the balloons of the opposite team you get a point. So what happened to me was, as protector of the team Balloons, I got bounced and in the process bursted my own teams balloons as the opposition bounced my bubble in such a way that I actually rolled over my own balloons. Silly hey?! 

Being in those Bubbles was so hot but it was all worth the effort in the end. My team miraculously ended up 2nd out of 10 teams. I'm not quite sure how because I was on the ground half the time trying to get up. Being short didn't really benefit me that much. I could hardly run. My biceps got a nice workout from picking the bubble up enabling me to run and kick the soccer ball. I did almost kick a goal and I also did destroy the goal post once. It was all great fun.

The Small Braai and a nice big Tjoppie and some boerewors.
Oh and don't forget the beer and the Biltong.

South African Flag. 

The photographer loved my blonde hair. 

I wonder what they did with all the other photo's. 

Team Strategy meeting happened like this. The bubbles was so
big that the 5 of us created a very secure space. 

It was so hot. We were like animals chilling under the tree. 

My team went for the red Bubbles. My face is red from the heat not sunburn. 

Everybody who jammed Bubble soccer the afternoon.
Great South Africans to know. 

'Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika

The Bicycle Ride

"Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving" - Albert Einstein

On Sunday I was a little crazy.

And on Monday, I couldn't walk.

Here's the story.... 

On Sunday Phillip and I arranged to go for a bike ride to Uijeongbu which is about 40km from Jeongok. After doing this multiple times, Phillip assured me that the ride would be easy and there is not a lot of heals to go up on. I trusted his judgement, organised a bicycle and off we went on this journey. 

The SAFFA BRAAI

It's not a BBQ!!

If there is one thing a South African got right it would be how to Braai. Since a very young age, well actually since birth us Saffa's are surrounded by the festivities happening around a fire. It must have something to do with our heritage since we really know how to make a nice steak on a open fire.

Kings and Queens

And off to the Palace we went.

On Saturday, a beautiful, much needed rainy day, Phillip and I hopped on the train and down to Seoul we went. On the outskirts of Seoul really close to the Seoul fortress actually is the Gyeongbukgung palace which was the main palace at the time. It's an absolute paster piece with the most beautiful gardens and ponds hidden away. It was built in 1395 and founded by King Taejo. Gyeongbukgung Palace in more common english means "Greatly Blessed by Heaven". It was built in the heart of Seoul, the capital city of Korea. There was 5 palaces built by the Joseon dynasty of which Gyeongbukgung (the main palace) served as the home of the kings of Joseon dynasty, the King's households as well as the government of Joseon. 

After the invasion of Japan in 1592 most of the Palaces in Korea were destroyed and burnt to the ground and the stones used as the foundations were all shipped to Japan. The buildings were all made from wood and stone at the them with the most beautiful patterns painted on the wood. From the few boards that I read at the palace (they were hard to find) the Prince of that time who was in charge of education and 2 other portfolios was decapitated by the Japanese before the whole kingdom got destroyed. It kind of sounds a little like Game of Thrones don't you think? The late Prince Regent restored almost all the kingdoms in the 19th century to it's original state but the architecture had a strong Chinese influence which could be seen in some of the palace decor. 

Then again in the 20th century most of the palaces got destroyed by Imperial Japan. It is under construction at the moment to restore the beauty it once carried. This particular palace is regarded as the most beautiful palace amongst the 5 palaces that was built in that time. 

Click here if you want to know more.

This was probably the most peaceful and beautiful pond I have seen in Korea so far. 

In the back you could see the entertainment hall. There was also a old styled boat laying in the water.

Me being crazy. But this walkway I imagine was a hall way and I can see it being quite romantic
 for a afternoon stroll. 

This was the main hall of the kingdom. 

This is how the guards dressed like in that time.
They stood so still they didn't look really and they change position every hour or so. 

                                                 

A writers problem - Inspiration

Writ˙er/ raiter (noun) - a peculiar organism capable of transforming caffeine into books.

The past 3 months maybe 4 months or even longer, I'm quite honestly not sure, I have been writing my blog posts one after the other. I don't think it has all to do with the fact that I am on this marvellous journey without any cares or any major responsibilities. Lately I have been struggling to write a good piece of work ( on my standards) and it got me wondering a little. 

If somebody asks me how I would describe an artist or writer I would say alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and free spirited. Now this doesn't describe all of them of course but I do however have this picture in my head. I'm not quite sure why but sometimes I think that to become a good story writer you need to let yourself go a bit. Experience life instead of spending it behind the book shelves.... 

As of late I kind of have been struggling to write and it got me thinking a little about the transformation I have been going through lately. I left Cape Town with a shattered heart and not knowing where to find all the pieces to put the puzzle back together and then on top of that not knowing where the hell I'm going although I knew the destination. Korea! Since everything was super new I used my writing as a way to work through my sorrows and pain, as a way to find the pieces and find myself I suppose as well, writing came easy to me. I guess since I started this blog I was overwhelmed by emotions and thoughts trying to organise everything, trying to spend as much time with the now an ex, my best friends and parents. Knowing it's hard for everyone around me I fed off their emotions a little as well. I was a contained wreck so to say. 

This has kind of changed lately.... As I'm typing this post I really need to think what I'm gonna say next and it's kind of irritating in a sense. Time heals everything and I'm actually happy at the moment spending time by myself although I get bored quite quickly. I'm not really somebody who would choose to spend time on my own if I have another option.  I made friends, the unknown is not so much the unknown anymore and I think I'm finally in the phase of moving forward and opening myself up to the idea of letting someone in to love me again. Yes it's quite soon but hey, YOLO.... life goes on. I got reminded this week that life is to short to waste time on things that doesn't make you happy. I can't sit and wait around forever and quite frankly I'm done waiting. So as for now in this moment I'm not feeling much, the emotional rollercoaster just stopped and I just got off. The next ride will take me by surprise and will come sooner or later. Might as well start getting excited.

I also think that my lack of managing my money at this stage and not being able to go out as well as the whole MERS thing plays a big role. Not doing much ploughs over to not having stories to tell. This is probably a more valid reason why I'm not writing. And yet I just wrote this post....

"They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world- someone to love, something to do and something to hope for" - Tom Bodett

The Year of the Sheep

1991, 2003, 2015, 2027

As part of the Korean culture and their east Asian belief systems, while the rest of the world followed the roman and greek methods of determining time, east Asian countries or in this case Korea developed their own Calendar. It's called the Lunarsolar calendar.

The lunar calendar is based on the lunar phases or the moon to be less technical. Our calendar is called the solar calendar and was determined by the movement of the earth around the sun rather than tracking the movement of the moon around earth. Because there are slightly more than twelve lunation (synodic months) in a solar year, the period of 12 lunar months (354,37 days) is sometimes referred to as the lunar year. Every 2 to 3 years they have a leap month just to readjust the lunar time line. 

The lunar calendar was used to predict when it is time to plant seeds and when it's time to harvest. In the old days Koreans stayed in villages, which as a matter of fact still today influences the way children are brought up and the way Koreans do things. Today Korea is extremely overpopulated with approximately 50 million people, the same amount of people as in South Africa but imagine all of us staying the the Free state. Yes it's small. Because people lived in villages farming for the village was very important in order to provide for the rest of the village. Also bare in mind that Korea has 4 very distinct seasons, which had to be taken into consideration when it comes to farming. 

Because of these very prominent dates things were suppose to be done festivals were held on these occasions. The biggest festival is Seollal, the first day of the traditional Korean new year. Other important festivals include Daeboreum also refered to as Boreumdaal (the first full moon), Dano (spring festival), Hansik (beginning of farming season) and Chuseok (harvest moon festival), Samjinnal (spring-opening festival). Other minor festvals include Yudu (summer festival) and Chilseok (monsoon festival). The Gregorian calendar was offically adoted in 1896 but traditional holidays and age-reckoning for older generations are still based on the old calendar. 

Every one of these festivals had their own traditions. Dano, the spring festival had the tradition of washing hair with iris water, sireum, swinging and giving fans as gifts. Yudu, the summer festival they also washed their hair to wash away the bad luck. New years eve the Koreans leave all doors open to receive ancestral spirits. 

Interestingly in the old days your birth date wasn't important. Everybody turned one year older on Lunar new years. The implication this had was that babies born the day before the lunar new years turned a year older the very next day. Not to mention that in Korea you have 2 ages, Korean age and then Western age. Koreans start counting from the day you were conceived so you are generally 9 months older than you really are. Sometimes 2 years older depending on the month you were born in. 

To get back to the calendar, as part of their ancient beliefs, they have the Korean zodiacs which is very much based on the Chinese zodiac signs circulating every 12 years. . I was born in the year of the sheep and this year is me year according to their beliefs. The zodiacs were used as part of fortune readings done at birth as well as before every big occasion in a persons life. These occasions are graduation days, weddings (to determine if you should or shouldn't marry someone), before you conceive ect.  This is not linked to the greek mythology of star signs though. I read up a little on this Sheep year thing and so far it's been quite interesting. I placed some links at the bottom if you are interested. 

Once you get to know the people here you start to realise how much ancestries and beliefs play a role in their normal ways of doing. And sometimes I wonder if they choose to belief the things they belief and withhold themselves from the philosophies of western world or if it get withheld from them for a reason. The reason being is that some of the things they belief really tends to come over as being closed minded about some topics. 

Everything about the sheep as well as a Love compatibility test... Check It Out.

For your Zodiac.... Check this out.