HOME ALONE

"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realise the situation is over, you cannot move forward" - Steve Maraboli

As you have seen by all my recent posts I haven't exactly been sitting at home and taking a breath after a busy week at school lately. Or well for the whole duration of the time I have been in Korea. And although I was at home this weekend I also didn't spend it sitting in my room. 

This weekend was quite a chilled one though. I think after doing Busan and Jeju which are two of the BIG trips in Korea you need to slow down a little just for the sake of your money pockets. So far Korea has been treating me well. I love the fact that every weekend is an adventure and it gives me a lot of perspective on life. It also keeps me from thinking to much. As you should've figured out by now I lost the love of my life just before coming to Korea and as it normally works it doesn't let you off the hook easily but rather very much confused, alone, full of questions, memories and a brain that works overtime. If my brain was employed by my body, my body would've gone bankrupt by now. 

So in order to keep the thinking to a minimum,  which by the way was still a lot, I traveled and made it my weekly mission to meet somebody new every week and so far I have succeeded at this. Actually I am doing pretty well. I also started figuring out what I miss in my life other than love and I decided to fill the gaps. Yes I know, trying to fill up the crevices in your heart with other things while you are healing won't make the healing process any faster. I think that doing the things I like doing and keeping a positive mindset does however help overshadowing the brokenness inside and it kind of creates a shield around you. What I mean about that is that it gives me other things to talk about besides the one thing that hurts. I am quite an emotional person which I also btw realised again whilst being here so speaking about the things that I feel extremely strong about or speaking about the hurt comes easy to me. It really does help speaking to people who doesn't know the whole story... I'm not sure if it's because they are more sympathetic or more interested?! 

I think this weekend, it being the first time I spend alone at home, was the turning point in the emotional fight I've been fighting on my own. It's not nice fighting for something alone. I also realised that I am worth a hell lot more and I stopped asking myself what I did wrong but rather started asking myself what did I do right. I'm giving myself the credit I deserve. This is where the quote comes in. I always say being mad at somebody makes the process to fall out of love so much easier. It didn't play a role this time round. But incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't. 

I had fun with total strangers this weekend. From playing bowling with the hometownies (HT's) to going out for a farewell party of a guy I met once. Dancing the night away, getting noticed and being respected is something I'd die doing every weekend. I love dancing and getting complements or randomly Salsa'ing just makes life here worth while. I also found out that I have seen more places in the past two months than some people have seen who's been here for 3 years. So I have been living it up. 

At the moment I'm strongly considering staying another year but I will have to see what happens as the year passes by. I have a few other ambitions I would also like to achieve in the next few years. And since I have been doing Korea 105% I'm not sure if there will be much left for me to do in the second year. Anything can happen. I know my Ouma doesn't want me to stay to long. She misses me to much already. And my little angel at home is also growing up so quickly.

 Life goes on. 

#YOLO